The Gratitude of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Redler Red7
Summary: "Very few times in my life would I ever wish to feel sicker than I currently feel—now would be one of those times. Let me explain…" Kyon gets sick and Haruhi scolds him. Kyon gives his usual sarcastic replies. [First Person Kyon POV, Friendship, Introspection] Enjoy if you can!


**This is my first time writing for this fandom and it was for a writing challenge. If you think you can, enjoy it.**

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…

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Very few times in my life would I ever wish to feel sicker than I currently feel—now would be one of those times. Let me explain:

Earlier today, during a depressingly rainy morning, I woke up feeling a little under the weather. You know what I mean? Cough, mild fever; dizziness— _the works_.

Instead of staying at home and resting like a smart responsible person with any bit of sense, I did what cultural habit dictated I should do. I shrugged my coat over shoulders, put on a medical facemask, and went to school, sickness be damned. That went about as well as you'd expect. I lasted half an hour into first period before summarily passing out and needing to be rushed to the school infirmary. There, I spent the rest of the morning out cold in one of their beds. When I next came to, I was in my bedroom.

I later learned that my parents had taken time out of their day to take me back home—and they were probably not pleased that I inconvenienced them. From whom did I learn this from? One Haruhi Suzumiya rather irritably told me this when she arrived to give me that day's notes and homework that I missed.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

"Do you have _any_ idea how much trouble you've been today by getting sick!?" she had yelled when I opened the door, face inches away from mine. It had been such a contrast to her light and polite knock.

Haruhi was so incredibly angry with my _"lack of diligence in keeping myself healthy"_ because my absence and sickness today was "an extreme detriment to the emotional states of the Brigade Leader and members."

If I were just a _liiiittle_ bit sicker than I currently was, I'd be much too… well, _sick_ to even _try_ to deal with Haruhi's anger. If I didn't fight back, she'd probably become conscious of the fact that she's scolding the ear off of a sick person—or at least get bored of bullying me. But unfortunately, I wasn't _that_ sick and I just can't help myself. Everything Haruhi says is just too outrageous or unreasonable for me _not_ to comment on.

I had since retreated back to my room to continue resting. Much to my chagrin, Haruhi followed me there.

With a pronounced frown, Haruhi set a glass and pitcher of water at my bedside table and crossed her arms. "You probably just stayed up all night watching TV or something. The lack of sleep killed your brain cells and made you walk in the rain like an idiot." She stood by, looking down on me with contempt. "God, you're completely hopeless."

I smiled wryly in an attempt to hold my tongue. I attempted not to tell her that I _did,_ in fact, wear a raincoat and bring an umbrella. I attempted not to tell her that I _did,_ in fact, sleep at ten in the evening as I normally did. I attempted not to ask her, if I _was_ , in fact, hopeless, why she still kept me around. I attempted all of that—attempted and failed.

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Why do I even keep you around? Because you fight back. Your Brigade Leader needs a minion to play devil's advocate—to give opposition to my vision. You like to run your mouth anyway so, really, you're the best pick out of all of us." She shot me a smirk and added, "It helps that your idea of a good time is the opposite of fun."

Wow. _Thanks_ , Haruhi. That was _almost_ a heartfelt speech. I _really_ felt the gratitude there.

Haruhi's scowl deepened. "If you don't want this gratitude shoved down your throat, you'll shut up." She pointed dramatically at me. "In any case, you should be the one thanking _me_. If I never came into your life, you'd probably be wasting all of your free time playing games and watching anime. _I'm_ the reason your boring life is as interesting as it is. Where's _your_ gratitude?"

I suppressed a wince. Aside from the comment about games and anime, which is vehemently false—she's literally in my room and can see all of my stuff so she should _know_ it's false—her words were painfully spot-on. Nagato, Koizumi, and Miss Asahina were an alien, esper, and time traveler respectively. Before I came into the picture, they were solely focused on Haruhi. Had I never met Haruhi, I'd have never met _them_. Like it or not, Haruhi was technically _correct_.

Oh god… Haruhi's _correct_ …

"Oh? Where's your witty retort, Kyon? Faking your sickness now won't work. I can tell you're well on your way to recovery."

I pursed my lips. She wants me to reply. _Of course_ she wants me to reply. She caught me in a trap and wants me to struggle. Typical. Well, I'm not struggling. She's not gonna get the satisfaction.

I frown and take a deep breath to steel myself. I can't believe I'm actually saying this...

"You're right," I muttered. "Thanks."

I avert my eyes but I still caught a glimpse of Haruhi's surprise flash briefly on her face. It was just a subtle twitch—barely noticeable—but I've been with her long enough to know the tells. I manage to put her off-balance. I guess that can be considered a victory of a sort even though I conceded defeat. Small mercies. I'll take it.

Haruhi huffed and turned away. "Good to know." She stomped to the door. "Call me if you need anything. I'll be here until your sister comes back. Make sure you drink that water."

With that, she left the room, her muffled footfalls fading into the hallway.

I blinked before smiling wryly. Perhaps it was more of a victory than I first thought?

I took a sip from the glass and shook my head.

Small mercies indeed.

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 **End of Chapter**

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 **The challenge was issued to me by GojiCandle. I was given the premise for this fic and had one week to write up a 35 lines. I ended up writing twice that number. Whoops.**

 **I… don't have a good grasp on how to write Kyon or Haruhi. Maybe if it were a few years earlier, when the show was still fresh on my mind, I might be singing a different tune but, right now, the idea of their characters I have in my head is too vague for me to call them mine. How was my interpretation of them? Tell me in a review.**

 **I really should write more for this fandom, though… maybe when I finally finish my other projects…**


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